First day of my period. I am bleeding heavily. My only wish is to stay in the bed and don’t be a mother for one single day.

I won’t get the desired time on my own as my husband has to work.

There is a prediction of rain for the whole day.

No playgroups where to hide today because is weekend.

No mama friends around as they spend time with their partners.

My son is snotty and moany. He pulled all the tissues out of the box with great satisfaction.

I am snotty and moany and annoyed about the tissues all around. When I picked them up they don’t fit in the box anymore.

How could we come out of this heavy mood?

I like to play on the singing bowl when wanting to transform the energy. Something that usually caught my son’s attention just for few minutes ends up being great entertainment for least half an hour.

He is learning to let it sing before banging again. The head tilted carefuly above the bowl. Mystery of the sound. New gained patience.

We are trying different things: one of us holds the bowl and the other one playes. We are making the round movements to activate it together. I play and Jonáš plays the flute. Jonáš tries to play both instruments at the same time sitting on my lap. I feel the heat of his body on my belly and it works as pain relieve. This is the magic of a female body – this is why he could come to the world through me.

On a rainy day one could try doing different things. Or perhaps same things differently.

After our music session are ready to go out and face the rain (well with a little stop over in the cozy Better Food Cafe for a cinnemon swirl, flat white and babychino).

Yes we gonna get wet and most likely more snotty.

But on the empty playgrounds we find magical things – huge colourful carpets of leaves, mushrooms growing from the old log and the leopard slug.

Have you ever seen it? I would not think that I would ever call slug beautiful but this one is. We let him crawl on our hand and observe his courious eyes on antenas. Our hands get all slimy but the wet grass and tissues help to get rid of that.

A very recent memory comes back to me. Same spot. Old log covered with mushrooms. We are alone in the playground like today. And like today it is raining.

Suddenly a little girl wearing just a fairy-like white dress appears.

“These mushrooms can turn into witches,” she says.

“Really? And when does it happen? Over the night? Or when it is Halloween?” I ask.

“Oh no. On Halloween it is my birthday. And do you know what I am going to get?”

Of course I don’t know.

“Pickled human fingers!” she says playing with my ponytail.

“Oh my goodness! Will you eat them?”

And then Jonáš gets jelaous that I allow this little fairy/witch to play with my hair and that I am giving her so much attention. Her mum yells somewhere from distance if she is not annoying us. Sadly I end up not knowing if she is going to eat the pickeled human fingers or not.

There is something similar about the rain like about the dark. Possibility to perceive world differently. Step out of the routine, do different things than normally. Dive deeper.

If you will go out on a rainy day the same world will be different.

If you will go out on a rainy day magic can happen.

If you will go out on a rainy day you can meet a leopard slug or a little witch who might be eating pickeled human fingers.

Photos by Živa

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